GREATER TUNA
by Jaston Williams, Ed Howard, and Joe Sears
What do Arles Struvie, Thurston Whellis, Aunt Pearl, Petey Fisk, Phinease Blye, and Rev. Spikes have in common? In this hilarious send-up of small-town morals and moreas, they are all among the upstanding citizens of Tuna, Texas. The day in Tuna, the third smallest town in Texas, begins—as usual—with Thurston Wheelis and Arles Struvie at the microphones of Radio OKKK, broadcasting at a big 275 watts (at least when they remember to turn the transmitter on). Topping the headlines is the winning entry in the American Heritage Essay Contest, entitled “Human Rights, Why Bother?” Then, Arles exits, and in comes Didi Snavely of Didi’s Used Guns; she leaves and gives way to weatherman Harold Dean Lattimer: “We have this swarm of locusts that are headin’ our way from Louisiana, but we figure the dust will kill a lot of ’em, and the rest’ll probably get blown away or drown in this tropical storm that’s headin’ our way from the coast.”And the comedy continues, from Petey Fisk of the Humane Society talking about the duck problem and Yippy, the Pet of the Week to Phineas Blye, perpetual losing candidate for city council announcing he’s running again and revealing his plan to tax prisoners: “It would be easy, ’cause everyone knows where they are.” Of course, a day isn’t complete without the high school football report from Coach Raymond Chassie, who explains why his football team lost 48-0: “We lost mainly because we couldn’t score.”
And so the day continues, as Tuna’s citizens parade across the stage in all their outrageous and irreverent glory, commenting on life, politics, and what makes them (and sometimes us) tick.
“Greater Tuna” is presented by special arrangement with SAMUEL FRENCH, INC.